Smooth Moves
by Nocturnal-Dayz
Summary: Sig has a secret trick for getting Jinx a lady-friend. Torn does not approve.


"**Smooth Moves"**

"Aw, come on! Why not?"

"She's way out of your league!"

"What do you mean by that?"

Three men were huddled close together in a corner of a dimly lit bar. It wasn't nearly as lively or as well known as the Naughty Ottsel, having only a handful of patrons at any given time, but the men wanted to have a night out at a quieter, and less dangerous, setting for once. With all the action and battles they had experienced in the last few years, it was a more than welcome change.

"I'm telling you Jinx, she's going to say 'no.'" Torn said. "You've got to learn to pick your battles…"

"…Says the 'professional bachelor' himself." Jinx retorted, earning a sneer from the Freedom League commander. "Why wouldn't she? I mean look at me! I'm slick…" Jinx ran a hand through his slicked back dreadlocks. "Charming…" He then gave a wide smile. "I'm well dressed…" He pointed at the bullet shells and various gizmos attached to the belts on his chest and vest. "And I've seen more action than everyone in the Red Light District. Because let's be honest…" Torn raised an eyebrow as Jinx took a swig of foamy beer from his mug. "Is there a woman in the entire city who doesn't like a good explosion? Am I right, Sig?"

The Wastelander across from Jinx tried to suppress a chuckle. "Well…that depends on the kind of 'explosion' you're talking about…"

The three men laughed heartedly. They each took a gulp from their drinks and Jinx pulled out a cigar and lit it. Sig waved a barmaid over and the young woman refilled their mugs to the brims with a smile. But her smiled quickly faded when she noticed Sig's Peace Keeper leaning against the table and then hurried off. When she was out of earshot Jinx breathed out a puff of smoke and leaned toward Sig.

"Seriously though, man. You think I got a shot?"

Sig shifted his eye over to the woman sitting at the bar in the center of the tavern. Her long auburn hair hung loosely to the small of her back, but he could just make out the piercings in her smaller-than-average pointed ears. She wore a thin red jacket and a navy skirt that had a firm grip on her lower body with boots to complete her look. She appeared to be quite the catch, but Sig had a feeling she wouldn't be an easy one by any means.

"If you think you got what takes…I'm not stopping you."

Jinx grinned, no doubt bustling with confidence. He turned to Torn next to him. "Well?"

Torn merely shrugged and waved him off. Jinx clicked his tongue and stood up.

"Alright then! I'll show you." Jinx grabbed his mug and downed it with several heavy gulps before replacing it on the table. He then took a long drag from his cigar and extinguished it in the ashtray. "Watch and learn, boys…"

Jinx then proceeded to the bar where the woman and a couple other people were, swaying slightly but maintaining his composure. Sig and Torn watched as he began engaging in conversation with the woman, their voices barely heard over the shoddy ambient music that was currently playing. Jinx was using very elaborate hand gestures and movements as he talked about what was most likely past adventures and things that go "boom". The woman seemed to open up at first, but the longer Jinx talked, the grimmer the woman's face became. Sure enough, after several minutes, the inevitable slap sounded and Jinx press a hand against his injured cheek. The woman faced forward as Jinx slowly made his way back to Sig and Torn, who were shaking their heads. Jinx slumped back into his seat and grabbed his cigar from the ashtray, lighting it up again and rubbing his face.

"Smooth…" Torn chuckled.

"You're right, I did learn something…" Sig smirked. "What _not_ to do when trying to get a date."

"Screw off…" Jinx muttered through clenched teeth. He took an extra deep drag of his cigar and blew the smoke into Sig's face. He coughed and tried to fan the fumes away.

"Heh, even Sig's got a better chance with her at this point than you." Torn said.

"Oh really?" Jinx grunted, pulling the cigar out his mouth. "Look at him! Who in their right mind would go after a guy like Sig? Uh, no offense…"

Sig raised an eyebrow, but brushed off the insult and leaned forward. "Well…I actually know a little trick that gets the girl every time."

"What?" Jinx cried. "Every time?"

"_Every_ time."

"Bullcrap!"

"It's true."

Jinx stared hard at Sig, his eyes narrowing. Sig remained silent as if he were waiting for him to say something. Jinx's frown slowly turned into a look of curiosity as he scratched his chin like he was considering an offer. Torn looked at Sig, interested as well. Jinx then decided to break.

"Alright…what is it?"

Sig looked back at the woman to make sure she wasn't watching them. When she appeared oblivious to them Sig stood up, grabbed his Peace Maker and sheathed it on his back.

"Just watch me, cherry."

Sig casually walked up to the bar with Jinx and Torn watching closely. Instead of sitting in the chair next to the woman Sig sat one chair away and placed his hands on the counter. The woman glanced at him as he motioned the bartender for a drink. Sig continued to face forward while the woman faced him, eyeing the gun on his back.

"Say, that's a big…gun you got there." She said coyly.

Sig turned his head to her and smiled. "Oh, this baby?" Sig got up from his chair and unsheathed the gun, holding it up. "She's my pride and joy, the Peace Maker, and the finest gun I've ever had."

"She is quite nice…"

Sig smiled. "You wanna see a cool trick with it?"

The woman smiled and shifted in her sit, clearly interested. "Um…sure."

Sig's smile widened. "Alright! Now watch closely…"

Sig took a few steps to the side and cleared the space around him. With an impassive expression on his face he then started to twirl and spin the Peace Maker around like a street performer. He tossed it in the air and spun it around his arms and shoulders with grace and skill. Jinx and Torn glanced at each other, unsure of where he was going with his tricks but continued to watch along with everyone else in proximity. The woman's eyes grew wider as Sig performed more elaborate maneuvers. He then tossed the gun lightly upward again and the woman watched it sail through the air. As Sig caught the gun, he swung the butt of the gun and smacked the woman in the center of the forehead with a soft _thud_. The patrons and bartender nearby gasped. The woman stared cross-eyed for a moment and then slowly fell backward unconscious, but Sig caught her before she fell to the ground. Jinx began to laugh hysterically and Torn's jaw dropped as he nearly dropped his mug. The bartender stepped back and glanced at the Scatter Gun underneath the counter, but then decided against reaching for it after considering that Sig and his gun were more than intimidating. Jinx got up and walked over to Sig, slapping his free hand as they exchanged grins. Torn buried his face in his hands, muttering, "Oh my God…" repeatedly.

"You sure got her, alright!" Jinx proclaimed. "I think I can take it from here, pal!"

"You owe me." Sig said.

Sig lifted the woman up and handed her to Jinx, who then proceeded to carry her out the front door of the tavern, smiling brightly. Everyone stared in disbelief, unsure of whether to take any action or not. Sig took a swig of his drink and turned to the bartender.

"Don't worry, she'll be fine. It's only Jinx, after all."

Sig gave the bartender a reassuring smile that he didn't return as Torn ordered a stronger drink.


End file.
